


Lana Got Abducted By A Mutant

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Filk, Humor, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-31
Updated: 2004-07-31
Packaged: 2019-02-05 14:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12796866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: A little ditty.





	Lana Got Abducted By A Mutant

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

Acknowledgements: To everyone who reads this. *smooch* 

 

Read to the tune of 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.' 

*************************************************** 

 

Lana got abducted by a mutant. 

Walking home from the Talon late one night. 

You can say there's no such thing in Smallville, 

but as for me and Chloe, we were right. 

She'd been drinking too much coffee 

Til there wasn't anymore. 

 

We begged her not to leave the Talon, 

but she flipped us off and headed out the door. 

We never found out where it took her, 

although we searched high and low. 

 

Now the Talon's run by Lex's brother, 

who can't even make a descent cup of joe. 

Lana got abducted by a mutant 

Walking home from the Talon late one night. 

You can say there's no such thing in Smallville, 

but as for me and Chloe, we were right. 

Now Clark's acting like a jackass, 

he couldn't seem to let her go. 

 

We thought he'd be over it by tomorrow, 

but as we all know he's kinda slow. 

It's not Smallville without Lana. 

The whole town is now depressed. 

She was one hell of a hostess 

and never shut the blinds when she undressed. 

Lana got abducted by a mutant. 

 

Walking from the Talon late one night. 

You can say there's no such thing in Smallville, 

but as for me and Chloe, we were right. 

Now it's too damn quiet at the Talon 

and the coffee's getting cold. 

 

There's no one at the counter, 

except for Nell, but she's way too fucking old. 

We've warned all the townsfolk, 

Be careful of what you leak. 

 

Cause you may find yourselves abducted 

by TPTB's mutant of the week. 

Lana got abducted by a mutant 

Walking home from the Talon late one night. 

You can say there's no such thing in Smallville, 

but as for me and Chloe, we were right.


End file.
